Why Unconditional Love Is So Rare?

Unconditional love—true, pure, and without strings—is something we seldom encounter. What we usually call love, or even the things we do in love’s name, often have little to do with love at all. In this article, we’ll explore the nature of human relationships and try to understand why this rare kind of love seems almost unreachable in our modern world.

Real Love Means Freedom, Not Control

Genuine love is rooted in freedom. It means letting another person live as they wish—without interference, without control, and without our expectations weighing on their shoulders. To love someone unconditionally is to accept their choices without feeling wounded, betrayed, or disappointed. It means not needing anything in return. No demands. No silent conditions. No manipulative tactics masked as affection.

More often than not, we unconsciously assign roles to people in our lives. Roles that come with unspoken scripts and expectations. We want our parents—though we’re fully grown—to still take care of us. We want our spouse to compliment us, to kiss us, to support us financially. We want friends to understand our struggles without question. We want our children to treat us with respect, always.

Take a moment. Reflect. What roles have you silently imposed on others? And here’s the irony: the more we pressure someone into playing a specific part, the more they resist. Why?

expectations

Searching for the Root of Our Demands

To answer that, we need to look inward. Why do we demand these roles from people in the first place? Why these expectations? You might find that, beneath it all, you’re trying to fill something. A void. An emptiness. And you’re using others—consciously or not—to do it.

But here’s the hard truth: no one, no matter how hard they try, can fill that void. Sure, they might say something kind or show a fleeting gesture of love, and we feel a temporary relief. A moment of warmth. But soon after, the emptiness creeps back in. It never truly leaves. That’s why the hunger for approval and love from others never ends. It’s insatiable.

What Is the Void We’re Trying to Fill?

Let’s go deeper. What’s really hidden inside that void? It’s the desire to feel loved. Every role we push onto others, every expectation we harbor—it all stems from the same longing: to feel important, valuable, wanted. To feel like we belong. To feel loved.

Last week, I listened to a conversation between Oprah Winfrey and a psychologist. Esther Perel who specializes in human relationships. The psychologist asked Oprah what she wished she had heard as a child, what she most longed for back then. Oprah paused, then answered: “That I was loved.” I was struck—because that same answer rose in me before she even spoke it. And the psychologist replied, “That’s the answer I hear most often.”

The Trap of Conditional Love

So how can we love someone unconditionally, when we are still begging them—silently or loudly—to love us first? To make us feel worthy, secure, and needed? And when they fail to meet our expectations, we lash out. We shut down. We start arguments. We walk away.

Sometimes, those intense emotional reactions—bursts of rage, waves of despair, an overwhelming sense of abandonment—aren’t even entirely ours. When we carry unresolved pain, especially for long periods, it can attract spiritual attachments. These entities feed off our fear, jealousy, anger, and grief, amplifying them until we can barely tell where we end and they begin. In such a state, true love—free, calm, unconditional—becomes nearly impossible to access.

It’s as if we’re all dancing to the same tune: Love me, and only then will I love you. But if you stop loving me, I will turn against you. This is why the line between love and resentment is so thin. So fragile. And so often crossed.

This is how the vast majority of people live—trapped in a conditional version of love. And it’s precisely why unconditional love is so rare. So, how do we break free from this cycle?

You Can’t Feel Loved Until You Love Yourself

You will never feel truly loved if you haven’t learned how to love yourself first. And once you do love yourself—not in an ego-driven way, but in a grounded, soul-deep way—you’ll no longer need others to fill that void. You’ll feel whole. Safe. Enough. Connected. Belonging not to others, but to God and to life.

When you reach that state, you release others from the emotional prison you unknowingly placed them in. You stop demanding that they perform for your happiness. You let them breathe. And for the first time, you allow them to simply exist in your life, freely.

From that place of self-love, you’ll recognize that you are a gift to this world—and that every other person is, too. You’ll approach them with acceptance instead of expectation. You’ll allow them to live their lives the way they choose, knowing that their choices, their words, their moods—none of it has the power to shake your sense of worth.

You will feel loved, no matter what.

About the Author:

Marianna oversees the daily operations of The Dr. Wanda Pratnicka Center, skillfully advising staff members on guiding clients through the spirit removal process. Her efforts extend beyond management; she is dedicated to raising awareness about the phenomenon of spirit possession, utilizing various platforms including events, books, and digital media. In her leisure time, Marianna delights in gardening, immerses herself in reading, and explores new natural wonders.

Stay tuned for enlightening new blog posts EVERY SUNDAY - your weekly dose of inspiration and guidance.

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

1. You can find more information about common symptoms of spirit attachment / possession here:

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2. How to check whether you or your loved one are experiencing a spirit attachment?

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3. Want to learn more about how we remove spirits?

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