When we begin our existence on earth and learn how to live here, the people around us are our teachers. Our first teachers are our parents, family, friends and neighbors. Later we learn from our teachers, priests, friends, neighbors and television etc. We learn by imitating others and it seems that by being around people the way they do things, which may not always be the correct way, is forced upon us. God however very wisely set up this world. Even though, everything that we come into contact with tries to influence us and teach us something, it solely depends on us what we accept and what we learn from each situation. Therefore two children in the same family, in exactly the same conditions, among the same people, could learn quite different qualities from their home experience. Or even accept for themselves none of the personal traits they see at home. It is very easy to influence some people, but it could be totally impossible to influence others.
Why do some things influence us easily, while others are unable to move us no matter how hard others try to force these things upon us? That depends on our soul's desires. If you came to this world to experience, for example, how to be a victim then you would attract to yourself people who make this possible for you, the kind of people who would be a tormentor to you.
I am not talking here about extreme situations where one person cruelly mistreats another person. I am referring to, simple, daily, routine matters, where we are constantly expecting or awaiting some punishment because of a deep rooted belief or feeling of guilt. That is exactly how we attract the proverbial "tormentor". Someone who would do the "dirty job" so that we could feel sorry for ourselves as much as we want to later on. That way we would fully experience what it is like to be the "poor" victim. We feel sorry for ourselves, but the tormentor also suffers as a consequence not understanding how all of this could had happened.
As you can see, dear reader, the victim is not a product of what happens to him, but the cause, the source of it. The victim forces the "tormentor" to torment him, which in the human reasoning of guilt and punishment makes him equally "guilty" for what happens to him. A given event would never occur if the tormentor and victim both didn't want the same thing. I am not writing this in order to bring victims to account. That would only increase their sense of being a victim. I want each person who has experienced obscenity to admit to himself that he was not a victim of that situation, but the creator of it so as to experience what it would be like to be a victim. And the story could be completely different. Since you cause yourself to be tormented then you can also change that. First, you would have to decide that you don't want to be a victim anymore. This affirmation would help you in that regard: "I… (your name here) free myself from the need to be a victim". Write that down and say it until everything starts to change around you (remember that almost each one of us has something of a victim inside of us).
Simultaneously, you have to change your approach to you. A victim is a victim, because he doesn't love or accept himself. In order to change that, you should repeat the affirmation: "I… (your name here) love and accept myself". Write that down and say it in your thoughts, say it aloud and also sing it out. Make it a habit that when you walk every other step is a step to greater self-acceptance and self-love. Furthermore, a victim also has a need to feel sorry for himself. Therefore say to yourself: "I… (your name here) free myself from the need to feel sorry for myself". When you change your desire, your experiences would also change. From being a slave to your desires, you would become the master of them.