Approaching Disagreements in a Healthy Way

It’s safe to say we’ve all found ourselves in an unpleasant disagreement with someone at various points in our lives. Most conflicts tend to arise among family members, friends, co-workers, or with neighbors. Conflict is never pleasant, and often we don't respond properly when somebody verbally attacks us, or is otherwise aggressive or negative to us.

Why do conflicts often arise in our close relationships?

People typically react to conflict in two ways. They may shut down, literally or metaphorically running away from confrontation. Their pain may harm them from the inside though, because they internalize and silently hold their fear, anger, or resentment. The other typical conflict reaction is to counterattack, employing shouting, criticism, accusations, or even physical violence. Unfortunately, both of these reactive methods cause their own negative consequences: in other words, they create bad karma that returns to them sooner or later.

It may seem that someone who withdrew from an argument and kept their thoughts to themselves must not have end up hurting anyone, and so shouldn’t have to suffer any further consequences. Yet this would only be true if they weren’t feeling any negative emotions at all during that process. So after the confrontation, if they carried negativity like anger or vengefulness toward the other person, then unfortunately the one being given a hard time is still very much involved in the fight, even though it technically appears to be one-sided. After all, it's not ever really about what someone said, or did. It's only ever about what we feel, which emotions arise, and how long we focus on this.

Effective strategies for managing conflict

So how should we react when someone is clearly looking for a fight? You’ve probably heard the classic saying: “when emotions are high, intelligence is low.” There’s a lot of truth to this: we rarely make good decisions when our emotions take over. So if you find yourself in a situation where someone’s hurling accusations, verbally attacking you, or even just being unpleasant: try to remember, before saying or doing anything else, to calm down first. You must hold that non-reactive emotional ground, no matter how much louder or angrier the other person gets (the louder somebody gets, the quieter you get). For if you react to someone in the same way that they’re coming at you, the emotional energy becomes a bit like a tornado. You have the option of running right at it and getting swept away while it takes on all your energy as its own - or, you can choose not to meet it head on, and stay safely within the protective spiritual energy of your own emotional peace.

Say someone tried picking a fight with you, yet you managed to stay calm, and kept your mouth shut. Congratulations! This is a great first step, but there are more to come. Notice the emotions you end up having toward the person. Do you feel angry, or resentful? If so, immediately and very consciously change these into feelings of love, and compassion. The reason? Love is absolutely the best protection against negative energy. As written in the Gospel of Matthew, “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” Tenets of Buddhism and scriptures in the Bhagavad Gita also teach us to approach our enemies with love. Why?

A person who’s hostile to you, or thinks negatively about you, is automatically sending you negative energy. If you also think negatively about them, then your negative energy intensifies, and hits you both with amplified force, causing each of you emotional or even physical pain. But if a hostile person thinks negatively about you, and instead you send them thoughts full of love and empathy, then their negative energy is literally neutralized, having no effect upon you at all.

How can we break the cycle of family conflicts across lifetimes?

Sometimes we’re born into families that are constantly having conflicts. While we can quit our job if we don't like our boss, and forget about them forever, this of course is impossible with family. Because our relatives are most likely various family members from countless previous incarnations, any recurrent conflicts we have with them now most likely didn’t originate in this life, but have been dragging on over many incarnations. So if you keep responding to attacks with attacks, and to anger with anger, you guarantee that in your next life you’ll be born into the same unresolved, conflicted family - and the endless drama will just continue. However, if you choose the positive approach of responding with love and compassion, you’ll stop the cycle of creating negative karma… and as the old karma fizzles out in the matrix of your kindness, eventually, your family dynamics will improve.

This technique brings another wonderful benefit. It protects us from being possessed by spirits, which we readily attract to us with our negative emotions. This is why people who experience trauma or chronic stress, or who refuse to easily forgive and forget, are extremely susceptible to possession by spirits. It isn’t the traumatic situations we go through that invite spirits to us, but rather, the emotions with which we react to them. Stay mindful of reacting to, and co-existing around, negativity with compassion and love, and the spirits won't have a chance to approach you.

I hope that after reading this post you’ll always know how to behave during conflicts, and that you’ll never again be afraid that somebody can harm you by wishing you ill. As you now see, everything in fact is in your hands, in your power: and you have total control over the energy that surrounds you. May you always feel love and compassion in your heart!

About the Author:

Marianna oversees the daily operations of The Dr. Wanda Pratnicka Center, skillfully advising staff members on guiding clients through the spirit removal process. Her efforts extend beyond management; she is dedicated to raising awareness about the phenomenon of spirit possession, utilizing various platforms including events, books, and digital media. In her leisure time, Marianna delights in gardening, immerses herself in reading, and explores new natural wonders.

Approaching Disagreements in a Healthy Way

Why do conflicts often arise in our close relationships?

Effective strategies for managing conflict

How can we break the cycle of family conflicts across lifetimes?

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