Have you blamed your parents lately for your misfortunes? Do you ever think “if only they’d acted differently…” then your life would be so much better? A lot of people feel this way. Sadly they fail to realize that having difficult parents or circumstances actually gives us the opportunity to learn and to grow, to develop spiritually, and become better versions of ourselves.
A lot of people spend a lifetime blaming their parents for their own pain. We often hear even senior citizens obsessing over childhood events, still holding grudges in their elder most years. Their thinking seems to be that if only they’d had different parents, then their lives would’ve turned out differently - and always, they’re convinced, for the better. Yet even if this were possible, it would limit essential access to lessons needed for growth into true maturity, and growth out of negative tendencies.
Paradoxically, the soul chooses its parents before coming into the world. The soul chooses parents that will best provide ideal conditions for learning lessons and resolving karma that the soul also predetermined. Some souls are incredibly ambitious, and choose very difficult lessons for themselves. Comparable to one’s eyes being “bigger than one’s stomach” when hunger is predominant, from over on the other side everything here seems much easier, so excessive ambition can result. Some souls made many mistakes in past lives, and when approaching rebirth must be born to a family bound to inflict a lot of pain, as the soul’s way to cleanse or to make up for their karma. In any case: it was and always will be up to you to decide which parents you have, and which difficulties you’ll endure.
So if you still blame your parents you’re only moving backward, wasting a finite opportunity for spiritual growth. As long as you keep on blaming them for any given situation, it will only keep coming back to you. First it was your parents who hurt you, so you moved out of the house; then it was your boss at work, so you changed jobs; then it was your spouse, so you divorced. Though you keep running away the situation keeps chasing you, because it requires healing. Only by healing our reactive emotions will these situations not repeat in our lives.
This is probably hardest to understand for those with unrealistic expectations of their parents. They can be seen, in a sense, as more like God than like an actual human being, who has the fallibility to make a mistake. Even when fully grown, some people hold the childish expectation that their parents are supposed to be perfect in every situation. Yet many unrealistic or downright foolish ideas we have as children can easily stay with us long into our elder years, and stunt our growth all the while. Consider yourself in this regard: do you always behave perfectly toward your children, spouse, and friends? Maybe you rationalize your own flaws as not being as bad as theirs, and maybe you actually believe you don’t really make bad mistakes. Just keep in mind that the pain they cause you is there so you can finally learn to heal your own negative traits, habits, and emotions.
You need to know that in families that are hostile to each other, or actively wish each other ill, or are chronically unforgiving, there are spirits constantly lingering around them, which sooner or later end up possessing the family members. The spirits then introduce an even greater quantum of negativity. You can read more about the effects of possession by spirits in article here.
So let's consider the possibility that you’re still angry with your parents for something in your history. Chronic blame only makes you relive the pain associated with a past event. It may have taken place decades ago, but feels just as vivid now as on the day it happened. This is because we choose to let it live on in us, instead of choosing to let it go. Even the death of our parents may not be enough to stop our internal battles with them. How do we let go of this pattern?
First, detach yourself from the expectations your inner child has had of your parents. Stop expecting or demanding anything from them. God always takes care of His children. If He doesn't do this via your parents, He ensures that there are always others who will love you and care for you.
Next, we must understand that everything that happens to us is there to teach us something, so that our soul grows from the experience. Deep down you know that pain is often the best teacher, motivator, and guide. So always look for what a painful event may teach you, and focus on how you can benefit from it.
At this stage it should be getting much easier for you to master the way to forgive, and not blame, your parents now. If you’re still not confident that you know how to forgive them, we’ve got an entire post dedicated to this: "How do you forgive even when it feels impossible?".
In life, we should always strive for freedom. We should give ourselves the freedom to liberate ourselves from the past, so it no longer drags us down in negativity. We should allow the same freedom for everyone else, which means letting go of our expectations of others, and always being forgiving and compassionate. Only then will we stop needing to blame others for our own unhappiness, and truly take Life into our own hands, where it belongs. This is the way to keep receiving Life’s constant rewards.
About the Author:
Marianna oversees the daily operations of The Dr. Wanda Pratnicka Center, skillfully advising staff members on guiding clients through the spirit removal process. Her efforts extend beyond management; she is dedicated to raising awareness about the phenomenon of spirit possession, utilizing various platforms including events, books, and digital media. In her leisure time, Marianna delights in gardening, immerses herself in reading, and explores new natural wonders.
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
1. You can find more information about common symptoms of spirit attachment / possession here:
2. How to check whether you or your loved one are experiencing a spirit attachment?
3. Want to learn more about how we remove spirits?
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