Watching the world from the sidelines, one can see that most of us are living life backwards. Lifestyles in Western cultures focus primarily upon relentless pursuit of material things we’re taught are supposed to bring us fulfillment and happiness - but life consistently shows us that money, status, and shiny objects only bring satisfaction for a short while, or not at all. Yet the cultural and media messaging is so ingrained into our conscious and subconscious ideas about life and how best to live it, that even in the moments when we remember the truth, we’re distracted by all the materialism and by our lifestyle built around obtaining more of it. So we jump right back into the daily grind, and into our endless pursuit of a shallow, materialistic, and therefore unattainable joy.
This endless pursuit of constantly increasing our money, status, and shiny objects is the opposite of living in the here and now. Some of us are mostly living in the past, either yearning for long-gone experiences filled with joy, or poking old wounds, incapable of forgiving or letting go of past hurt. Still others, unable to find peace in the here and now, only live “in” the future, resisting everything but the belief that as soon as they achieve or attain some materialistic "something," that everything else will be fine.
Yet what does living in the future look like in everyday life? Schoolchildren learn to be ashamed of their youth, and objectify kids in higher grades, and wish they were just as grown up; yet no sooner are they in high school then they switch dreams again, next longing to be of college age, and just as glamorous as culture and media have taught them they’ll only be at that exact age. Of course the minute they’re in college, they shift their dreams again, now that they’re bombarded with information that they’ll never be safe or content until they can graduate, get a good job, and then earn good money.
Predictably, those kids haven’t got a chance to feel safety or to enjoy success once they do get that good job, because their work environment teaches them that only ascent up the corporate ladder can possibly bring them any prestige or therefore, self-worth. Amidst all this stress and low self-esteem, at some point all they have left to dream about is to jump off the treadmill and retire, because they’ve finally realized that having free time and zero professional stress is the only way they can actually start enjoying their lives.
Sadly, during retirement folks then come to realize that their bodies no longer have enough energy, health, or youth to enjoy the free time and the lack of job-related stress, and so great disappointment or even depression may set in: they’d looked forward to this moment for so long, only to realize that the joy isn’t coming but that soon their death will. Then comes the staggering regret for all the years they lived as if in a fever dream or under a spell, while life flew by that they never got to enjoy, because they were constantly focused on chasing the next “best thing.” Unfortunately, this is how our society is organized, and how most people live.
The retail industry and their marketing experts know this all too well, having literally created it, surviving by deviously exploiting it. Manufacturers constantly come out with new products whose ad campaigns promise status, or beauty, or happiness. It doesn't matter that they’re not much different from the products of a few months or a year before. The messaging never stops, that you absolutely must buy - and show the world that you have - it. Just study the ads from this or any era, and see how happy everyone is who acquired the product. The ads all promise immediate satisfaction, beauty, health, and happiness.
This is how our culture consistently teaches us to chase after the endlessly next-best thing, and to only look for happiness on the outside. It also teaches us to compete with each other for an allegedly limited supply of infinite abstractions like joy, love, and self-esteem; and so we learn as children to focus solely on ourselves, and to only aim to reap as many benefits for ourselves as we possibly can.
Now, imagine how you’d feel if you were only living in the here and now, instead of in the past or future - if your contentment wasn’t dependent upon any things, or people, or events? Would you let yourself then take a deep breath, and slow down and appreciate every passing moment as it happens? How would you feel, instead of looking for imperfections in the present, if you accepted the moment, grateful simply to be alive, and decided to enjoy this no matter how un-wealthy or non-glamorous it may seem? Maybe then you’d immediately see the utter nonsense of the constant pursuit of material things, as well instead, as seeing what is really important.
At that point you’d find yourself no longer rushing your child as s/he wants to explain something to you, but instead patiently and pleasantly enjoy listening, and enjoy being completely and fully present in the moment, in the conversation, and in your child’s enriching experience. Maybe on your friend's birthday, instead of sending a quick text, you decide to call and ask how they’re doing; and in return, you’ll be able to hear how happy they are that someone remembered their special day. Since focusing on the joy of yourself and others only brings more of the same, maybe you’ll become amazed at how long it’s been since you noticed the beautiful blue of the sky, and the birds cheerfully singing; and maybe you’ll remember to focus on the moment, and to feel grateful for the life you’ve been given.
On the day when death knocks on your door, will you be happy about how much money you have, or what degree or social status you earned, or what car’s in your garage? Or will you be happy about how you were able to help and love others, and contribute to making their lives happier too. It’s mostly warm smiles, kind advice, hugs, selfless devotion, and loving care that folks will remember.
So if you’re looking for real happiness and true fulfillment, you’ll only find it by serving others, and by giving yourself completely to the present moment. And no matter what your current level of health, wealth, or power we can always, and at any time, be of service to others. It doesn't have to be some huge, special gesture: let me share some examples. At work, do your job to the best of your ability and with the idea that the company you work for and the clients or customers you serve will always get as much goodness from you as possible. And do the same at home.
Serve your family to the best of your ability. It takes no social status, wealth, or power to do these things. And in so doing, don't expect special praise, recognition, or thanks at all. In this as in all things, remain unattached to the outcomes of your diligent, thoughtful, and inclusive efforts. For as we learned in the beginning of this post: the more one becomes attached to and focused upon the outcome, the more one becomes subservient to the treadmill of pressure, suffering and disappointment. By doing your job and also by living your life without attaching yourself to results, you’ll experience true wealth and power, as well as freedom and joy. Like the Yuletide saying goes: So be good, for goodness’s sake! Selflessly serving others, my friends, is how to find true peace and fulfillment.
About the Author:
Marianna oversees the daily operations of The Dr. Wanda Pratnicka Center, skillfully advising staff members on guiding clients through the spirit removal process. Her efforts extend beyond management; she is dedicated to raising awareness about the phenomenon of spirit possession, utilizing various platforms including events, books, and digital media. In her leisure time, Marianna delights in gardening, immerses herself in reading, and explores new natural wonders.
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