Why Do So Many of Us Carry Resentment Toward Our Parents?

Hardly a day goes by at our center without someone confiding that they carry deep-seated resentment toward their parents. And these aren’t just young adults who’ve only recently begun living independently. Some of these individuals are in their eighties or even nineties—yet the wounds are still fresh. They speak of parents who never loved them, never saw them, never showed them warmth. That kind of unresolved pain, whether fully conscious or lingering in the background, can quietly erode our emotional and physical health. In some cases, its intensity can even draw in spiritual entities. But what exactly are we holding onto—and more importantly, how can we begin to let it go?

Resentment Is Layered—And Love Often Sits Beneath It

Resentment doesn’t wear just one face. On the surface, it might look like frustration that our parents didn’t have time for us, that they lashed out emotionally or physically, that they failed to support us financially, or never defended us when we needed protection. But when we peel back those outer layers, we often find something far more tender: a deep, aching grief that we were never truly loved—or never felt like we were.

That lack of love becomes a wound, and from that wound a belief is born: If my parents couldn’t love me, then no one can. They were our first authority figures—symbols of safety, even godlike in our perception. And if they withheld love, we begin to assume love itself is not available to us. We shrink. We slump our shoulders. We accept a life of quiet suffering, believing that’s all we deserve.

So, how do we begin to heal our resentment toward our parents? Start by looking at their childhoods. How were they raised? What were their parents like? Most of us are simply victims of other victims. And unless we break the cycle, our own children may one day carry unhealed pain passed down from us.

When I learned that my father grew up in poverty, raised by an alcoholic who could barely keep a roof over their heads, it hit me: of course he struggled. Of course he turned to alcohol. That awareness didn’t excuse his behavior—but it helped me understand it. And in that understanding, the resentment began to dissolve. What took its place was compassion.

Generational Gaps Explain More Than We Realize

Each generation carries a different level of emotional awareness. Those born in the 1930s, for example, came into a world ravaged by war. Survival—not introspection—was the priority. Emotional pain was buried because feeding a family and staying alive left no room for reflection. No one asked how you felt. No one could afford to.

generations

By the 1960s, survival was less of an issue, but materialism took center stage. Progress was measured by what you owned, not how you felt. It wasn’t until the 1980s that emotional self-awareness began gaining ground. People born during that time often feel emotionally raw, overwhelmed by a sense of worthlessness or not being enough—despite growing up with more stability than previous generations. Material comfort didn’t translate to emotional security.

So if your parents were born in the 1930s or 1960s, and they couldn’t talk about emotions, never acknowledged your inner world, or failed to say how proud they were of you—it’s likely because they were never taught how. You can’t give what you’ve never received. We often ask people to behave beyond the limits of their consciousness. But if they weren’t even aware of their emotional landscape, how could they navigate yours?

That said, there have always been exceptions—individuals who transcended their era. Even in the 1930s, books on emotional awareness existed, though their readership was small. These rare souls helped light the path, showing future generations what was possible. They were the torchbearers. And now, you may be one, too.

The Cycle Will Repeat—Unless You Break It

One day, your children may look at you and feel confused by your values. Maybe even resentful. You may have believed that hard work and self-sacrifice made you worthy of love. You may have given everything, even when your efforts were met with criticism or indifference, because that’s what you thought was required to be “enough.”

But what if your child interprets that differently? What if they grow up feeling that your love was conditional—that they had to achieve, perform, succeed just to be seen? They may ache for a love that simply was—not one that had to be earned.

If you want to move beyond resentment, forgive your parents—not to excuse them, but to free yourself. Everyone acts from the level of consciousness they’re currently at. And the truth is, humanity still has far to go. Much of the world still operates on primal impulses—greed, fear, dominance. Every day, people kill and harm one another over power, money, or belief systems. In a world like this, how can we expect people to embody love—especially unconditional love—when they’ve never truly known it?

But we can begin with awareness. We can offer compassion, even when it's hard. And we can stop the cycle by refusing to pass down the pain we've inherited.

About the Author:

Marianna oversees the daily operations of The Dr. Wanda Pratnicka Center, skillfully advising staff members on guiding clients through the spirit removal process. Her efforts extend beyond management; she is dedicated to raising awareness about the phenomenon of spirit possession, utilizing various platforms including events, books, and digital media. In her leisure time, Marianna delights in gardening, immerses herself in reading, and explores new natural wonders.

Stay tuned for enlightening new blog posts EVERY SUNDAY - your weekly dose of inspiration and guidance.

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