Undoubtedly, we have all found ourselves comparing our lives to those of others at one time or another. Perhaps you noticed someone has a better job, a bigger house, earns more money, or has a more fulfilling relationship with their spouse. Maybe you’ve questioned why some people seem to find success so easily, so naturally, as if it comes without any significant effort. A vital element at play here is our sense of deserving.
Have you ever delved deep into your often subconscious sense of deserving? Have you considered how profoundly it can shape your life? What we have or what we encounter in life is a direct result of whether we truly feel we deserve it. It's no coincidence how it unfolds, it aligns with your sense of worthiness. Do you aspire to earn more money? You won't attain more if you don't genuinely feel you deserve more. Initially, you'd have to permit yourself to have more money, persuade yourself that you're worthy of higher earnings, and you'll notice opportunities for bigger earnings knocking at your door.
Children from wealthy homes serve as an excellent example. They were nurtured in wealth, and affluence is their natural state. Their parents, through their own example, taught them they deserve money. Such a person will always subconsciously expect money (and not just a little) and feel they deserve it. In this way, they'll consistently attract wealth and maintain a lifestyle on par or even higher than their parents. Conversely, children from impoverished homes are often programmed to believe that lack of money or constant financial struggle is the norm. In the future, they will have to work hard to break free from this distorted thinking, which their subconscious will continually try to revert to.
This same principle applies to relationships. If, during our childhood, our parents were always criticizing us or even abusing us, it's likely that our future relationship with a partner will reflect our childhood relationships. We select partners who abuse us, criticize us because deep inside, we don't feel we deserve better. Here, we might try to delve deeper into our subconscious and discern the reasons why we don't feel deserving. You might hear that: you don't deserve a better partner because you're foolish, you're ugly, or nobody else will ever love you. Were these arguments ever used by your parents?
The feeling of undeserving could also be why we don't reach our goals or they slip away at the last moment. Despite working so hard, being close to achievement multiple times, we lose them in the final minute. Often this happens because deep inside we don't feel 100% that we deserve this achievement. To attain something, you must first cultivate the feeling of deserving it.
At this juncture, we should address our ego. Our ego loves to scream, "Of course I deserve everything! I deserve to earn millions, I deserve a fantastic partner, but the problem is that...." Here it begins listing—or more appropriately, starts complaining about—all the external factors standing in the way of achieving the goal. It refuses to look inward and see the root causes within itself. Looking deep within, revisiting the past, healing traumas and eradicating false programs is a brave endeavor.
So, how do you develop a sense of deserving? Start by observing yourself and your thoughts. Notice how you feel when you're in a pricier restaurant than usual, how you feel when you try on more expensive clothing, how you feel in an upscale neighborhood, how you feel when someone addresses you with love and kindness, how you feel when someone gifts you an expensive present? Notice the discomfort, the shrinking, the instinct to flee. Only once you've acknowledged these feelings can you start to reassure yourself that you deserve goodness in your life.
You can also start affirming, "I deserve to have a great life," "I deserve, and accept all of the goodness this world grants me daily," "I am worthy of great love and I deserve to be fully loved," or "I am fully deserving of abundance, happiness and blessings." It's best to move forward in small steps to keep your ego from rebelling. Allow and open yourself to a little more goodness each day. This way, you'll accustom your subconscious to increasingly more goodness. In time, you'll see the tremendous progress you've made.
Life is about constant forward progress. Even standing still is essentially moving backward, as everything around us rushes forward. Love yourself unconditionally for who you are. You deserve all the best that life has to offer, you deserve the world simply because you exist.
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