relationships can be painful

Why Relationships Can Be So Complicated and Painful?


Have you ever found yourself pondering why interpersonal relationships can sometimes be incredibly challenging, or even painful? Perhaps you've questioned why a parent, partner, or child acts in a way that hurts you, sparking anger, sadness, and more. Maybe you've dreamed of your loved ones being different, or you've even attempted to change them. In today's post, we'll explore why we should be profoundly grateful for the relationships that bring us the most pain and how we should approach them.


Why Relationships Can Be So Complicated and Painful

Taking the relationship between a man and a woman as an example, the insights we're about to share apply equally well to any type of interpersonal relationship, whether it's parent-child, sibling-sibling, or boss-employee. Most people believe the primary goals of a partnership are love, security, sex, and so on. However, these goals are essentially born from our ego. Yes, even love, because what we often consider love is not genuine—it's conditional. It's about if you take care of me, then I will reciprocate; if you provide for me financially, I'll be nice to you. If not, I may leave. True love is unconditional, expecting nothing in return. It's about giving because you genuinely care for the other person, wanting the best for them without concern for what you might get out of it.


couple arguing


Entering a relationship with expectations or, worse, thinking we can change the other person, inevitably leads to pain. Life tends to show us that the more we push someone to change or the higher our expectations, the greater their resistance and our resulting pain. Then we start blaming the other person for our suffering. This is where a significant problem lies. Blaming our partner can temporarily energize us, as we justify our actions by thinking of ourselves as good and the other as cruel, feeling superior in the process.


The Mirror Concept in Spiritual Growth

If you're interested in spiritual development, perhaps having read a few books on the subject, you've likely encountered the concept of the mirror. It posits that what we see in others reflects what's inside us. We project our unresolved negative traits onto others. This is evident in arguing couples who accuse each other of the very faults they possess. You can't recognize negative traits in someone else unless you also harbor them. The universe cleverly designed this because it knew humans would be reluctant to look inward and acknowledge their hidden negative traits like fear, jealousy, greed, anger, etc. It's far easier to point them out in someone else.


Building a Wonderful Relationship

Therefore, if you want to build a magnificent relationship based on true love, respect, and peace, focus not on fixing your partner but solely on fixing yourself. Our purpose on Earth is continual spiritual growth and expanding our consciousness. Your partner is there to press on your unhealed emotional wounds so you'll pay attention and heal them. Always delve deeper into yourself, asking what a situation reveals about you, what needs to change, and which emotions need processing. Be mindful to listen not to your ego but to your Higher Self.

Let's use an example for clarity. Suppose your wife buys an expensive purse during a financially challenging time, despite previous discussions about spending. Initially, you may feel justified in your anger and blame. However, this recurring situation, especially if it triggers strong negative emotions, is a cue to introspect. Ask yourself: What emotion am I feeling? What negative emotion seeks healing within me? What am I accusing my wife of?


man contemplating


Listening to your intuition might reveal you're accusing her of selfishness—a trait you then recognize in yourself. You might also discover a deep fear of financial ruin, fearing it could lead to losing everything. Suddenly, you're grateful for your wife's purchase because it helped you confront and heal your fear and work on being less selfish. Perhaps now, with your fear diminished, your financial situation might improve.

I'll quickly mention here that if our problems in a relationship or with family members are characterized by constant fighting, very strong negative emotions (aggression, depression, mood swings, etc), or even physical abuse, it is very possible that we or our loved ones are dealing with possession by spirits. You can find more on this topic in the following articles:


How Spirit Attachment Affects Marriage 

Living With a Possessed Person 

Living With a Child Who Experiences Spirit Possession


The Hard Path to Spiritual Mastery

It's easier to mend a current relationship than to seek a new one. If you don't learn the lessons present in your current relationship, you'll carry them into the next. The most painful experiences offer the greatest opportunities for spiritual growth. Focus solely on what you need to change within yourself. It's a challenging journey, chosen by few, but it's the only path to spiritual mastery. I'll leave you with this beautiful quote by Gary Zukav: “Changing the world begins with the very personal process of changing yourself, the only place you can begin is where you are, and the only time you can begin is always now.”



About the Author:

Marianna oversees the daily operations of The Dr. Wanda Pratnicka Center, skillfully advising staff members on guiding clients through the spirit removal process. Her efforts extend beyond management; she is dedicated to raising awareness about the phenomenon of spirit possession, utilizing various platforms including events, books, and digital media. In her leisure time, Marianna delights in gardening, immerses herself in reading, and explores new natural wonders.


Stay tuned for enlightening new blog posts EVERY SUNDAY - your weekly dose of inspiration and guidance. 





1. You can find more information about common symptoms of spirit attachment / possession here:


2. How to check whether you or your loved one are experiencing a spirit attachment?


3. Want to learn more about how we remove spirits?





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